The Guy To Avoid – You’ve Been Warned
You’ve been enjoying your summer of love, let your hair down, and met some interesting guys – maybe even someone you think is extra special. But before you get too cozy you may want to do a quick reality check with man about town Rod, the quintessential Guy’s Guy who bats for the ladies by dishing out the truth about men. Rod is the pseudonym of Max Hallyday, the protagonist in my novel The Guys’ Guy’s Guide To Love. In the novel, Rod teaches women how to win by penning a column exposing the deepest and darkest datingsecrets of men. Here’s one for all you ladies who deserve a man that’s worthy of you.
The Guy To Avoid, Part Two
We all know him. He’s the guy we just can’t resist, even if you’re a guy and he’s one of your friends. Maybe he’s a bit taller and better looking, his words flow as naturally as honey from a comb, and everything seems to fall the right way for him. And I’ll bet if YOU were a guy, you’d want to be just like him and have your way with all of those silly girls you know. And so we’re drawn to him like moths to a flame, and eventually our wings are singed. Because, ladies, it is all about him, and if you don’t figure that out early in the game, you’ll find out the hard way. And I know that no matter how clear a picture I paint of this sociopath, a lot of you will succumb to his charms anyway. He’s that good at what he does. It’s understandable, because we all want to know why his world seems like a cooler place that the one I’ll face every day. He has a gift, and he uses it on you.
We’re infatuated by his clever comments and his version of the truth. He weaves his verbal tapestry effortlessly. He’s funny and clever and he looks right into your eyes while flashing that trademark smile. Pretty soon, ladies, you’re in his apartment and on your back. And before you know it, your heart’s been broken. You might take it out on the next suitor who comes calling. Let him pay for that other guy’s sins while he moves on to the next woman. So it becomes a vicious cycle of who can get what from the opposite sex until it grinds down our collective innocence like grist for the mill.
Not a very pretty picture, is it? Remember ladies, you asked for the truth. So what can a nice girl like you do to protect herself from this testosterone-fueled guided missile shooting through the city? I can share a few pointers about him, but ultimately, you’re on your own. He prefers the good-looking ones. He says that beautiful women are more interesting because they’re taken to the best places, unlike some of their less physically gifted sisters who spend too many Saturday nights at home on the couch becoming even less interesting.
Oops. That hurts, doesn’t it? This is what he believes and his behavior reflects these twisted, cynical thoughts. But when he’s with you, he makes you feel like the prettiest girl in the room. He focuses on you like a prowling jungle cat hungry for those pretty gazelles that run so fast and taste so good. So he stays close and listens and watches until he makes his move. And when he’s done with you and that body you worked on all winter in those torturous Pilates and spin classes, he licks his lips and moves on, temporarily satiated until the next pretty one comes along.
He’s always one step ahead of you. He goes the extra mile, putting two profiles on those online dating profiles because he says it casts a wider net. He deletes the leftovers and keeps moving. With the time he invests in hunting, he learns your habits and what you respond to. He talks freely about how awesome his last girlfriend was and how they are still friends. And, oh yeah, it was totally his fault that the relationship didn’t work out. But he knows better now, because of what he’s lost. And yes, ladies, he’s ready for a committed relationship. At least that’s what he says. Just don’t gain any weight, have a painful period, let your boobs sag or any gray hairs show, and never back off on giving him that oral sex that he craves, because if you do, he’s gone. He meets women everywhere. And he sees through lots of women like you who live in New York, no matter how confident they act or deep down how alone and insecure they sometimes feel.
Now don’t get mad. You asked. So protect yourself, and keep asking all of these questions that can reveal a man’s true character. I don’t mean what school he attended or how much money he makes at that hedge fund where he works. I mean you need to find out how he treats people, like his family and friends and other women, because that’s what really counts. Do whatever is necessary to find out if he’ll respect the most important relationship of his life: that special relationship with you.
Until next time,
Guy’s Guy of the Week: Derek Jeter – not the one to avoid, but a Guy’s Guy who knows how to score on and off the field.