AGING IS A CHOICE Part 27 – Dating Over Fifty (The Challenge)
by Robert Manni
Maybe you don’t know this about me but for the past few years, I’ve been on guest panels and given numerous interviews on relationships for the over fifty crowd. So, I know there are a lot of us out there who are older and in the dating scene looking for that special someone. According to Pew Research, nearly 1:3 adults over fifty are single in the U.S. with women edging out men without a partner. This discrepancy widens by age 65, when half the women are single. With so many folks looking for love, often in the wrong places, I thought it would be helpful to share a few of the pointers I’ve picked up along the way from experts on my GUY’S GUY RADIO show and by my regular appearances on media platforms about the current dating scene for the over fifty crowd.
So, if you’re single, over fifty, looking for love and not sure how to get back in the game, here are a few things to consider before getting started:
You’ve got to be in it to win it…
Dating over fifty is not for the fainthearted, but if you are seeking a new partner, it’s a necessity. Whether you have ended a long-term relationship, marriage, or never been married—look before you dive into that dating pool. It’s not uncommon to find misrepresentations of people on dating sites. With evolving roles women and men face, health and financial issues, and complicated family situations, dating can be a challenge to navigate. That said, nothing will happen unless you take the leap into the singles’ marketplace.
Take stock of your own personal needs and desires, accept that we all have personal baggage, and when you are ready get out there. Remember, you’ve got to be in it to win it. Staying at home might foster a few online connections, but you ultimately need to meet someone in real life to create an emotional bond and a meaningful relationship.
The news is not all bad…
Regardless of the dating horror stories you’ve been told, if the process is managed mindfully, the rewards of dating can easily outweigh the risks. First, you are not alone in your quest for love. There has never been a time when there are more singles available. Second, being over fifty comes with a lot of life experience. Hopefully, you’ve learned the trouble signs and will avoid the same problematic relationship issues from your past. We all make mistakes. It’s how we learn to make better choices. But the secret to getting off on the right foot with someone new is not about that person or the dating scene, it’s about you. Which brings us to…
You come first.
Before attending Meetup groups, wine-tasting seminars, or diving headfirst into online dating, I recommend you first taking stock of yourself, namely: the type of person you are, what you are looking for, and what you have to offer a potential partner. If done mindfully and honestly, this will put you in a solid position to respondconfidently versus react plaintively to the plethora of dating situations and possible paramours over fifty who each carry their own set of baggage. If you try to figure yourself out while in the throes of dating new people, you can get sidetracked or taken off course from who you are and what you want. Your best first step is taking stock of yourself.
Like most things in life, when it comes to dating over fifty, it comes down to how you respond to situations as they arise. And in the same vein as your aging journey, your later life dating success will be a result of the choices you make. So always be yourself and never settle for less than you deserve.
Next month, we’ll explore more tips and key next steps to successful dating when you’re over fifty. Until next time…
