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The Guys’ Guy’s Guide to Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a day most guys dread. It’s commercial, pressure-filled, and commercially exploitive. If you’re single, you might feel left out. If you’re in a relationship, you’re probably scrambling at last minute for an idea worthy of your mate. That doesn’t sound very romantic. But it doesn’t have to be that way. So what can a Guy’s Guy do to make this annual toast of love work for you? The answer is simple. Personalize the day. Check your ego and make the day all about your partner. If you do, I think you’ll find more satisfaction than you could ever hope for. Here are three Guy’s Guy hacks for making this tricky day one you can truly celebrate.

1. Tried and true hacks don’t have to be boring or expected. Dinners, flowers, chocolates, jewelry, champagne, and lingerie are the standard bearers. And as long as you put some thought into it, there is nothing wrong with choosing any or all of the above. If that’s the case, what separates a champion from a chump comes down to one thing— paying attention and choosing what will please your partner. 

Take flowers, for instance. On Valentine’s Day, and in fact on any day, women love to receive flowers. But, contrary to popular belief, and although you probably can’t go wrong with them, not every woman would make a dozen red roses her first choice. I know, it sounds crazy, but women have particular tastes about everything, and choosing flowers are no exception. To make your selection special, find out her preferences ahead of time, even if it means asking her friends. ConsumerAffairs is a great resource when it comes to sorting through lots of flower delivery options, and is a great way to tailor your selection to your lover’s tastes.  

2. When love is new, you want to fan the flames. If you want to get intimate with a woman for the first time your first thought is probably buying her lingerie in the hopes that she’ll wear it for you on Valentine’s Day. But pause before picking out something small and red that’s just for you. She’s more than aware that you want her to give you the show. And unless she’s given you a big hint about what could happen on Valentine’s Day, your Guy’s Guy says don’t buy her lingerie on Valentine’s Day if you haven’t been to bed with her yet. Whatever you do, don’t make her sweat about having sex on Valentine’s Day. Be thoughtful and unpredictable. Keep her off balance and intrigue her. Pick up tickets for that show she wanted to see, cook her a special dinner, or take her someplace she’s mentioned in passing. It’s the little things that will get you over the top, amigo.

Instead of buying her a big, red printed card with a long rhyming message, pick an elegant card with very little text and craft your own heartfelt message about how fun it’s been getting to know her and what she means to you. Point out the little things you’ve noticed that make her special why you want to get to know her better. Believe me, she’ll see you’re paying attention and most likely, you won’t need that red lingerie to get where you want to go. If you express your feelings in a heartfelt way, she’ll bring it when she feels right. And when she does you’d better fasten your seat belt.

3. If you want to keep the fires burning… Again, it’s about personalization. Let’s say you buy her jewelry. Pick something out that you feel she’ll like and then kick it up a notch by inscribing it with a personal message. A former paramour once bought me a silver necklace and an understatedly elegant pendant. Nice. When I looked closer at it I noticed that she had inscribed the underside with, “Love Slave”. Talk about marking your territory. It worked. Of course once my next girlfriend took one look at it, it went to the scrap heap.

When you are in a long-term relationship or marriage the written word still goes a long way. If you buy a card, again, pick something simple and write ten special things that she does to make you love her. Tell her why she so important to you, what makes her sexy, funny, giving, etc. Let her know her in no uncertain terms that she is loved. And it won’t hurt if you clean the house and cook her a special dinner.

I think you’ve got the idea by now. The key to a successful Valentine’s Day is making it about the other person.

Are you making Valentine’s Day all about your partner?

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is Paul McCartney for writing all of those wonderful silly love songs.