What Men Want
So, What do men want?
This is a loaded question for sure, but I can answer it in one word. Men want M-O-R-E. Yep, that’s what they want. It’s that simple. More women, more money, more sex, more power, more adventure…and the list goes on and on. And as a result men make a lot of questionable choices like invading countries, publishing so many magazines that feature photos of really big female butts or buying a convertible when he lives in Anchorage, Alaska. But if you knew where they were coming from, maybe their decisions would not seem so strange.
Are men that different from women? I’m not sure, but we are all human and underneath our different plumbing systems and appendages, there is not much more than our social conditioning to separate us. But, the ladies want insights, so here are a few nuggets to consider next time you find yourself trying to figure out a man and their occasional odd behavior as it pertains to…
Love and Sex
Guys are visual and they like variety. Most men know how to compartmentalize sex. They can have an encounter and move on, thinking, hey, that was cool. Yeah, just like that. Of course, many women have learned to view a roll in the hay the same way. But, for the most part, some women have trouble wrapping their head around that notion. Many don’t think that way at all. And others assume that if their man could have a quick romp with another woman and still think that everything is okay, then he is a jerk or maybe there is something wrong with her. It’s neither, ladies. Guys are just wired that way. Now, I am not suggesting that every man acts on his every compulsion, but I’d wager that if this month’s Playboy playmate offered herself up to your guy, he’d be hard pressed to make the right decision, whatever that might be. But, don’t sweat it. Most guys in a serious relationship would show the gumption to say, “pass” when offered this encounter. As I suggest in my novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, the main difference between men is how they manage their “inner Roger”. Roger, in this case, is an archetypal womanizing character named Roger Fox.
So, what do men want? They want sex and they like variety, so my advice is to keep things spicy and hot. And, of course love is a two-way street, so make sure your guy gives a double dose of exactly what you want.
Just like you, men want to feel desired. And, it needs to be real. So if you think your guy is sexy and you hunger for his lovin’, make sure that he is aware of it on a daily basis. And if you don’t, what the heck are you doing in this relationship?
I have a friend, who after over a dozen years of marriage, separated and then divorced his wife. I asked him about it and from what I could glean from the conversation, the reason he chose to move on was because his wife no longer found him to be funny. Really. Of course this is ego driven, but all of us to some degree, especially men, are consumed by competitiveness and ego. My friend did not feel loved, and his measuring stick was the extent of her appreciation of his sense of humor. Men, like women, have an innate need to feel loved. And that’s not so bad, is it?
So, we know that men like sex and they want you to make them feel that they are really sexy. They want it all—the hot girl, the cool car, and the career and the money. That’s about it in a nutshell. Over the course of history, men have accomplished a lot just by following these primal desires. But, there have been lots of wars and dumb decisions made by virtue of men’s desires to have it all, at any cost.
Fortunately, things are changing and men are now under the microscope as much as Mitt Romney. I suggest that today’s men would be happier if they recognized and celebrated the ascent of women. Women have been on a straight trajectory of success for some time now and it’s about time that men factor this into how they perceive the world and how they experience happiness. Today’s men have left behind the dated macho perspective that relegated women to the kitchen and the bedroom. This is passé and I say, thank goodness. As men become more circumspect about a rapidly changing world where women stand alongside them, many see the inherent advantages in this. Less need to conquer everything in their path, less of a need to be the sole provider in a relationship, and more opportunities to share and enjoy our earthly bounty. Sounds good to me.
Of course there is a lot more to discuss, but for now, the next time you are trying to figure out why your man makes some seemingly questionable choices, think about his always wanting more and you might come to the conclusion that he’s not so strange after all. He’s just being a man.
Guy’s Guy of The Week: The handful of guys who have learned how to manage their inner Roger.
What do you think men really want?