The Guys’ Guy’s Guide to Style DON’Ts (Part 1)
Guy’s Guys take pride in their style and swagger. That doesn’t mean we’re vain or narcissistic. We’re simply comfortable in our own skin and we like looking good.
But with fashion and culture evolving at breakneck speed, sometimes it’s not so easy to keep our hands firmly on the style wheel. The world has changed and it’s not all about khakis, loose-fitting jeans and goatees anymore. We’re tempted to stretch our stylistic limits by what we see on social media and celebrities. Girlfriend jeans? Man buns? Meggings? What’s a Guy’s Guy to do? That’s where I come in, amigo. Although I firmly believe that as long as you are feeling it, in most cases it does not matter what you wear, there remain certain no-nos when it comes to dressing in the timeless Guy’s Guy style. So here is my first list of things guys should NOT wear.
Drum roll, please.
1. Too many sports logos – You’ve all seen this guy. He’s sporting a Packers jersey, a Yankees cap, a pair of clunky Nike running shoes circa 1995, even though he’s not a runner. Oy. Or the guy dressed in the orange Denver Broncos hat and Peyton Manning jersey. Oy, again. Guys, too much is too much. Unless you are heading to the Giants, Jets, Mets, Yanks, or Rangers game, limit yourself to one, that’s right, one sports merchandise item. When it’s cold or rainy, I top off my outfit with a Yankees cap. Living in Harlem, you can never go wrong with that interlocking N and Y on a navy blue cap. Classic. But, that’s it, amigo, one item only.
2. The hipster uniform – You seen this guy, too. Tattered skinny jeans, soiled white v-neck t-shirt, chains and beds around his neck, scruffy or urban woodsman beard, wayfarer shades, beat-up leather jacket, and the prerequisite sock hat dangling off the back of his man bun, regardless that the temperature is in the 70’s. Don’t be this guy. You are not Johnny Depp. Although it seems cool, it’s a uniform and it shows little imagination or classic style. In my opinion, you can rock any two items in this outfit (except the man bun), but not the whole enchilada. Ever.
3. Zubaz pants and the sweats culture – Remember those baggy zebra striped pants weightlifters wore in the eighties? Yeah, the ones that make you look like Hans or Franz. I see guys still wearing them out when walking their dogs or on the way to a sporting event. If you insist. But, on a date? Oy. I know sweats are damn comfortable, but please only wear them in the house. But, if you insist on wearing sweats when you are out, find something that fits you, not sized 2XXL that you get all comfy in on the couch.
4. Baseball caps indoors and on dates – When you are folically challenged wearing a cap feels secure.But there comes a time when you need to take that sweaty thing off your head. In particular, I am referring to not wearing a cap when you are on a date or in a restaurant. I get it with the caps if you are out with the boys at a bar watching the game, but not at a sit-down restaurant and not ever when you are on a date. It makes you look like an overgrown frat boy, and we know you’re better than that. So, take the hat off when you are with a lady or when you sit down at a nice place to eat. It’s not so bad now, is it?
5. Big chunky, fat sneakers/running shoes with giant logos. Hey, I dig the Swoosh now and then, too, but old school running shoes paired with jeans is a dated look. You are better off rocking a pair of Chucks, chukkas, or Tretorns, my personal favs. Big cushiony running shoes are for running, not styling, amigo.
6. Old school khakis – I’m referring to the baggy kind from the nineties that may even have—gasp— pleats. We all know that many fashion staples come and go, but don’t expect pleats to come back on the scene anytime soon. If you need a break from jeans in your casual wear, there’s a wide selection of slim khakis from brands like J. Crew in various shades that fit just snug enough around your naughty bits and bum to make you look fly.
7. Baggy nineties suits – I watched the new James Bond film,Spectre, the other day, and damn, Bond’s suits were freaking tight. This is the style now, amigos, and it’s a tough one for guys with that American “athletic” build to pull off. But if you stay fit, you will look damn good in those little suits that are all the rage. Do you best to find a suit that looks right on your frame, but whatever you do, take a look through your closet and get rid of those suits and sport jackets with the loose fit and big lapels.
I think we’re off to a good start, but there is more to come. In the interim, check your closet and do the necessary pruning. You can thank me later.
This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is actor, Daniel Craig. His version of James Bond is masculine, feral, and brimming with timeless style. And, he rocks some great outfits throughout the film. Hey, Bond is a Guy’s Guy!
Photo courtesy of Peace on That.